I inadvertently eavesdropped on the conversation among a group of cows that had settled down with their calves for a little cud chewing and a “bull” session next door to us. The cows belong to our neighbors, Doris and Steve. I guess the mamoos wanted the calves to rest a bit. But then, here I came on my big, noisy Land Pride riding lawn mower. They didn’t seem too bothered when I mowed the far side of the yard, or the front yard , or the front part across the driveway and next to the road. They started to take notice, however, when I started on the side yard just feet from their spot across the fence. Of course, I picked this up through ESP, because the mower is too loud to allow regular conversation.
Brown cow #1 (Bossy): “Omigod! Is it that time of the year already?”
Brown cow #2 (Bessie): “It seems to come around sooner every year.”
Brown cow #3 (Maybelle): “The first really pretty day in a while and we have to listen to that junk!”
Black cow #1 (Lois): “It doesn’t even have a beat! And it’s so loud! You know she’ll ruin her hearing. I just don’t get what she likes about it.”
Bossy: “What I don’t get is why she just goes round and round on that noisy thing. It doesn’t even look like fun.”
Maybelle: “And just when we got the little ones to settle down. Now they’ll be up, running and jumping all over the place!”
Bessie: “It’s always the same, as soon as the grass gets tall enough for a nice graze, she runs around on that noisemaker till it’s too short to get your teeth into it.”
Lois: “I’ve heard stories for years about her. Do you know that one time instead of chopping the hay out of her flowerbeds, she set fire to it? Wouldn’t have taken a minute to pack it up and toss it over the fence to us instead.”
Bessie: “My grandmoo saw her picking dewberries with our Doris one time. Grandmoo said she actually jumped over a ditch full of water because she thought the ones on the other side looked bigger.”
Maybelle: “What would folks say if we did the same kind of thing? Imagine if we tried to crawl through a fence just because the grass looked greener on the other side? We’d never hear the end of it!”
A little while after I finished mowing, I thought I’d take the camera out to get a photo of the group. I tried to be non-intrusive, but this is what I heard them say.
Maybelle: “Now, what’s she doing? Skulking behind those bushes and looking at us!”
Bessie: “What’s that thing she pointing at us?”
Maybelle: “I’ve had enough! I’m outta here.”
She gets up and walks away. Two or three of the other cows and their calves line up after her and leave, also.
Lois: “See you on the other side of the pasture, girls.”
Bessie and Bossy watch Lois walk away.
Bossy: “Would you look at the rump on her?”
Bessie: “Well, I know some folks like a little junk in the trunk.”
Bossy: “I’m just saying.”
Bessie: “Whatever…let’s get going before they step all over the hay.”
And they left…single file.
