Tele-surveyer

I have been pretty successful in training Wayne not to answer the house phone unless the caller ID is someone he wants to talk to. Let me rephrase that...he should let it go to the answering machine if its an "Unknown Number", a "Private Number" (screw em!), an 800 number or any other area code that isn't right around here. It only rings 4 times then goes to the answering machine. If they leave a message and it's not from Palais Royal or something similar, then we can decide whether or not to call back.

We have been on the Do Not Call list for years and I have updated that periodically. So, we shouldn't get any telemarketers...and really, we don't. Now, it's non-profits and surveys. And he gets calls from Doane Marketing and other ag-related surveys. Arghhh! The most maddening thing about the ag surveys are when they call in the middle of the morning, during harvest, say, to talk to Wayne. I don't know how many more ways I can tell them how it works! HE'S NOT HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MORNING...EVER! HE'S ALMOST NEVER HERE DURING HARVEST! But, enough about that.

Last night, just before 9, the phone starts ringing. Caller ID gives me the caller...Shillington PA, and the phone number. I know it's not someone we need to talk to, but I decide to answer and give them what for. Here's the conversation, as best I can remember:

Me: Hello

Wayne: Hello

Survey: This is................, may I talk with the oldest male in the house 18 years of age or older?

Wayne: I can barely hear you. (I can hear his television blaring in the background...plus I know he was probably asleep before the phone rang)

Survey: This is................, may I speak with the oldest male in the house 18 years of age or older?

Wayne: Really, I can barely hear you, can you speak up?

Survey: This is................, may I speak with the oldest male in the house?

Wayne: Do what?

Survey: Is there a male resident over 18 years of age that I can speak to?

Wayne: I'm only hearing about every other word.

I've left out a few lines here, because I can't remember them, but I can tell you that I was quietly giggling at his "answers" to questions that he couldn't quite hear. Not answers to survey questions...they never got that far. They were still trying to establish a connection with "the oldest male in the house 18 years of age or older."

Survey: Is there a better time to call?

Wayne: How about 9 in the morning? (Suddenly he can hear!)

Survey: Thank you

So, I went downstairs and asked him why he answered the phone in the first place. He replied that he didn't like to hear it ring. I know it was just a reflex since he had been sleeping. I then asked him why he told them to call back at 9 in the morning, when he knew he wouldn't be here then. He just grinned.

They haven't called yet. Probably deleted our number from the list.